Monday, January 25, 2010

Want to hear some stories of my heart?

I want to tell you all so many things! I haven't written a personal post since 2010 began, and lots has been revealed to me from inside my heart since this year began. I held back from writing because I had a lot to say, but the amount keeps growing so I suppose now is the time to unleash some of it out to the masses (that's ya'll out there reading this :) ).

We went to the farm, stayed for about 10 days, did not enjoy our time there for many reasons, which we have shared with some of you, (and if you want to know more just ask), so we came back up the mountains to Mcleodganj. The farm brought deep discomfort into our hearts and a lot of internal things got stirred up. In short, we were both made sharply aware that India was not a pleasant place for us to be, and that the things we deeply desire and love are not here. At first we both questioned if this was a time to practice patience, an opportunity to be with an experience new and difficult and just see where it led. Neither of us wanted to admit to ourselves that we did not want to be here, in India.

I prayed for clarity in my heart, to know what my heart was saying and my heart spoke louder. It said to leave the farm. It said I was not going to find the root and meaning of Yoga in India. It said that just because I wanted to come here for so long did not mean I had to stay here. My heart said "listen to me, follow me, but it may not be easy and pretty". This was a painful discovery, to come across the world only to see that all I want I already have, and that the community of Boone really nurtures me in ways that other places cannot. Neither Phillip or I expected to come here and not like it, but we both felt the same way (thankfully). Yoga is in my heart, the roots and gold of yoga are in me. I have to grow this, feed this ... it cannot be found outside of me. And for Phillip, music is in his heart, is his heart. We both have our jewels already. We knew this, but we didn't know it at the same time. Traveling across the world has made it crystal clear.

So, in order to be true to our hearts calling, we will not stay in India as long as we planned. We will make the most of our time here, and learn what we need to learn, enjoy ourselves and also try to do some things that are meaningful not only to us, but for all beings. But we will be seeing you all sooner than later.

We have been in Dharamsala for a month now and it is a good place for us. We have an apartment here so we can cook our own food, wash clothes, and live at our own pace. There are more Tibetans than Indians here, which is nice really! There is a whole different vibe to this town because of the Buddhist influence, and just the fact that these people live in exile from their homeland.

We have made friends with many Tibetans and gotten to learn a lot about their individual stories. All of them inspire me to see the best in all situations, always be thankful, and remain in the present moment. One new friend, Ludup, is a 29 year old Tibetan. He has lived here for 13 years and has a beautiful outlook on life. He lives in the present and is smiling most of the time. He inspires me in his ability to more forward with his life, as he is very modern in his approach to helping Tibet. He won an essay contest about environmental activism and asked Phillip and I to help him edit the English translation of the paper. I was blown away by the paper. It was intelligent and talked about the necessity to preserve Tibet's land, how it is a treasure chest of clear water sources, forests and minerals like no other place in the world. He pointed out the need for other countries to put pressure on China to preserve, not exploit this land, and he also put pressure on Tibetans to take responsibility for protecting their land in what ever way they can. He talked about the inter-connection between all lands and all beings. I hope to put some of his work up on the blog so you all can read and be inspired too!

We are also teaching English to a group of Tibetans. The group is half and half men and women. This is a great chance for us to be tested on our own knowledge of English grammar, but even better it is a amazing opportunity to learn from others. We make simple sentences and have fun doing it. Like any teaching situation I have ever been in, I feel I learn more from my students than I am teaching them. I guess really the learning is just a big circle with every one being equal parts teacher and student. I am happy to be doing this.

We have gone to 2 pujas since being here. I think they happen once a month in Dharamsala, as long as the Dalai Lama is in town. The first was a puja for the Panchen Lama (he was kidnapped by the Chinese 10 years ago) and this last one was to wish the Dalai Lama a long life. Both happen inside of the beautiful, bright main temple in town. The ceremonies are completely in Tibetan and an elaborate display of Tibetan rituals. This last time we had great seats where we could see the Dalai Lama the whole time. He sits up on a throne-like chair, covered in shiny yellow and red cloth. Most of the time is spent chanting, I don't understand a word of it, but am happy to be there anyways. People around us do prostrations and hold mudras that neither of us know. We smile and just sit in the present, soaking in the tradition and devotion. Monks come around and give every one butter tea (not my cup of tea, so to speak) and sweet rice. Offerings are made of cookies, tibetan breads, fruit, statues, scarves, instruments, traditional hats and chocolates! The offerings are presented to Dalai Lama, he blesses them, and then they are each taken to the different monasteries in this town. On both experiences we have gotten to see the Dalai Lama within 5 feet, a cool experience to be around a world-renowned spiritual teacher. This has been the stimulus for lots of conversations between Phillip and I about spirituality and the potential in each human being!

Having a travel partner allows us to do so much more outward processing of situations and feelings than being alone. Everyday, I am thankful for my partner. Traveling together is so different than traveling by alone, and of course we are in the closest of quarters I have ever spent with some one. We support each other, learning each day how to be better communicators. We crack each other up every day. We laugh hysterically until our faces and bellies hurt. There is lots of farting...

I love all of ya'll in the USA. Thank you for sending love and support across the ocean and land to us here in India. I hold you all in my heart and pray for your happiness everyday!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Story of a Tibetan Ex-Political Prisoner

Last night, I had the chance to hear this heartbreaking story about life as a political prisoner of the Chinese government in Tibet first hand. An ex-political prisoner named Sonam Dorjee now lives as a refugee in Mcleodganj, H.P. India shared his true, brave story with a small group of foreigners. He is a volunteer at the organization L.I.T., Learning and Ideas for Tibet. This organization offers classes in English, and Buddhist philosophy for Tibetans living in exile, as well as once a week having an ex-political prisoner share their story with whoever comes to listen.

As I listened, I knew I had to share this story with others. We cannot make changes in the world if we do not know the truth about what is happening. We cannot truly be compassionate human beings with out hearing the hidden side of the story, with out hearing the stories that don't make the news, the stories like Sonam's that are horrific as much in their occurrences as in their Truth. I will tell this story as I heard it and will include a link you can follow to find out more about Sonam and other political prisoners stories. This is a sad story, but sad stories are important to tell.

Sonam Dorjee was a political prisoner in Tibet for 13 years, from 1992 until 2005. He and 3 other Tibetans decided to protest against the Chinese government for 3 reasons. The first was the new family planning restrictions the Chinese had set up. In the cities women are allowed to have on 1 baby and in villages they are allowed to have only 2 babies. If women did not conform to this new rule, a heavy fine was imposed upon them that they were usually unable to pay. Also, forced sterilization was happening to women through out Tibet. The second reason Sonam protested was because the Chinese government began mining in an area near his village. They were dumping chemicals and waste into the surrounding rivers. Animals and people would drink the toxic water from these rivers and become very sick, or die. Thirdly, the Chinese government said Tibetans must renounce the Dalai Lama as their political and spiritual leader. They said that Tibet was not separate from China, but the same country, under the same rule. They banned Tibetans from flying the Tibetan flag or carrying pictures of the Dalai Lama.

These reasons pushed Sonam and 3 others to protest in June 1992 during a township meeting of "socialist ideology" concerning family planning. They hung a homemade Tibet flag and shouted "Independence for Tibet" outside of this meeting. They were able to protest for only 15 minutes before arrested by Chinese police and taken to first the police station, then the detention center.

The 4 men were placed in solitary confinement upon arrival and interrogated individually. Each person was asked who the ring-leader of the riot was, a question that would be asked repetitively over the next 13 years. No one gave an answer and all were beaten horribly. The guards, some Chinese and some Tibetans used wooden, iron and electric sticks to beat the prisoners. One of Sonam's colleagues died after receiving electric shock torture. Sonam was beaten until he was unconscious. When he awoke, the guards poured water on his face.

The men were all charged with “spreading counter-revolutionary propaganda,” and sentenced to discourage uprisings of other Tibetans from their villages. Sonam remembers thinking he would not mind dying if it meant that Tibetans could be free. Over the next 13 years, he stayed in 3 different prisons and was regularly tortured. Sonam clarified to us that slapping, kicking and punching were daily occurrences, so the prisoners did not consider this torture, just the way of life.

This is his story in my words and as I recount the torture he told us about last night, I want to first say that my order is not completely accurate. Either way, I think the most important thing is to know what happened, and know that these things are still happening in Tibet.

One type of torture that Sonam experienced during interrogation was having each of his thumbs attached to a chain that was linked to the ceiling. It was unclear if he was able to touch the ground or not while this was happening, but I have heard of other Tibetan prisoners being tortured in this way and only their toes could touch the ground. This would take off just enough pressure so that their hands were not ripped off after being in this position for a few hours.

Not long after being in prison, the guards started to come around with a long syringe. They extracted blood from each prisoner. Many prisoners would lose consciousness when the blood was taken because they were already so weak from beatings and malnourishment. The daily meal was 1 or 2 pieces of bread and a cup of hot water.

For a few years the political prisoners worked in a green house with in the prison. They were instructed to grow vegetables to be sold to an outside vendor. The guards told them they had to make at least 12,000 yuan from selling the vegetables or else they would be tortured. It was very difficult for them to make this amount of money. Tibet has lots of snow in the winters, limiting the growing season, but also often the snows would damage the green house. Then, the profits from selling vegetables would go towards repairing the green house. The prisoners had to use human waste as fertilizer in the green house.

Another activity that the Chinese guards imposed on the political prisoners were military exercise drills. They would stand still, at attention, and then be commanded to drop to the ground with out moving hands or feet to get there. Dropping in this way would cause bloody mouths and faces, as well as many other injuries.

There was a rule book in the prison that they were all supposed to memorize. The rules were written in Chinese, and most of the political prisoners knew only Tibet and maybe a little bit of Chinese language, so memorizing was very difficult. Of course, for not being able to recite all the rules in Chinese when ordered to, the prisoners were physically tortured.

At times there were 12 political prisoners all living in the same cell. There was one bucket in the cell that was their toilet. Sonam recalls, in the summer time, there was no worse smell than the bucket in their cell. They were allowed to leave the cell only once during a day to place the bucket outside. When they left the room they had to keep their eyes looking down, so they would be unaware of their surroundings. The prisoners were given no blankets or sheets to sleep with on the ground.

Often after interrogations, when information was not provided from the prisoners to the officers, the prisoners were moved into solitary confinement. Solitary confinement was supposed to last only 17 days, but one time Sonam spent 2 months and 17 days in solitary confinement. This time was spent in complete darkness.

The interrogations consisted of asking who the leader of the protest was, renouncing the Dalai Lama as the leader of Tibet, saying that one would not protest against the Chinese ever again, or signing a letter stating that Tibet was a part of China. Sonam repeatedly refused to do these things. One time he was beaten so badly after an interrogation that he could not move at all for 3 days.

After 13 years in 3 different prisons, in 2005 Sonam was released. Upon his released the officers asked Sonam to sign a letter stating he would not protest anymore. He told the officers that his time in prison did not make him want to be silent, instead he was ever more eager to protest against the Chinese rule and martial law.

Sonam returned to his old village, but his family had moved. He asked a girl he saw if she knew his mother. The girl ran away from him, and returned with his mother. This girl was his younger sister, now 22. She was 8 years old the last time he'd seen her so at first she was unrecognizable to Sonam. He stayed with his family for a few months and was unable to leave the village with out permission from the police.

He got permission to leave on 2 different occasions so that he find a job in Lhasa, the capital of Tibet. Both times he found work, the Chinese police had him quickly fired from his job. After this, he became very sick for 3 months. He was unable to receive medical care because he could not leave his village based on the police rule. He petitioned the police to let him go to Lhasa to get treatment and they let him go after they received papers from a local hospital stated Sonam's disease.

This time, when he arrived in Lhasa he sought out a guide that would help him escape Tibet. Tibetans must hire a guide from Nepal to lead them through the Himalayas out of Tibet, into Nepal and then on to India where they will be safe. This is an extremely dangerous escape that many do not make, and lots of those who do lose hands and feet due to frost bite. They can only travel at night for safety. Sonam's friends helped him pay for a guide - it cost 5,500 Yuan, an amount he would never have on his own.

Thankfully, Sonam made it to Nepal, where he rested in their Tibetan reception center for 11 days. Then he traveled on to Mcleodganj, India. When he arrived here, the Dalai Lama held a special audience with the new refugees. After this audience, Sonam was granted a private audience with the Dalai Lama, where he was asked to tell the truth about what was happening currently in Tibet and what it was really like as a political prisoner. The Dalai Lama told Sonam to tell others his story so that the truth would be known.

Sonam lived for a while at the reception center in Mcleodganj. After some time he began studying at Gu-Chu-Sum, a home and school for ex-political prisoners in Mcleodganj. Here he studied English, history and basic computer skills. During his first few years in exile reporters from BBC and other news stations came to Mcleodganj and recorded Sonam's story, as well as that of other refugees and ex-political prisoners. He now volunteers at L.I.T.

This is a recent story and these same types of torture are being used by the Chinese against Tibetans everyday. I did not know this brutal, heart breaking reality until I came here and began meeting Tibetans, living in exile here in Mcleodganj. Sonam is one of thousands. And he made it out, alive and determined to share his story so that other Tibetans may not have to live this way in the future. This story touched me and I thought the best thing I could do is tell it to others.

More information about Sonam Dorjee and his fellow protesters can be found at:

www.ahrchk.net/news/mainfile.php/ahrcnews_200706/3079/

www.TCHRD.org